“Hey honey, it’s- DON’T HANG UP KELLY! PLEASE! Listen, it’s me! Um, I don’t know exactly what happened but I lost this bet at the arcade? And, like, things kinda got outta hand, and stuff? And, um, well, didn’t you say once that you were kinda interested in trying lesbian stuff? Like, no this isn’t a joke… please don’t make me say it in public, honey. Can we just… okay okay, just don’t hang up! Ready? Ahem-hm. … you’re my honey bunch, sh-sugar plum, pumpy-umpy-umpkin, you’re my sweetie pie… …you’re my -ugh- my cuppy-cake gumdrops snoogums-boogums, you’re the apple of my eye. Like, there, happy? … Okay well, when you stop laughing, can you give me a ride home? Stop laughing. Stop- yes, west side. Yeah, um, I look different but you’ll be able to pick me out from the crowd. I kinda… stand out.”